Disclaimer: "ER", the characters and situations depicted are the property of Warner Bros. Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant C Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This site is in no way affiliated with "ER", NBC, or any representatives of Lisa Vidal or Laura Innes. This site contains stories between two mature, consenting adult females.
"I did you a huge favor... You just don't know it yet."
That simple statement had now pin balled around Kerry's head for two days. She couldn't stop thinking about it OR Sandy.
'You know... I think she might actually be right.' Kerry was starting to realize that her world was not and had not come to an end, when her staff and patients witnessed Sandy kiss Kerry. Her co-workers were still showing her the same respect as they always had, prior to now. The only person in the ER that had actually shown any negativity towards her was Frank.
He had said to her, "You're going to go to hell, for being gay."
Kerry snapped back at him, "Thanks for the warning."
She worried about what others might have said about her, behind her back. She made a promise to herself that she would try not to worry too much about it. It was hard for her to do, but she was going to try the best she was capable of. She would keep living her life as Kerry Weaver, the Chief of Emergency Medicine, who just happens to be a lesbian, as well as a doctor. That would never change.
Kerry focused on the phone receiver in her hand. "Um... Hi, it's me... I don't know if you even want to talk to me right now,
but I need to see and speak with you. Please? Will you call me back here at work or come by? I just want to talk. I'll be here until 7, tonight. Bye."
Kerry let her words play around in her head for a brief moment before hanging up the phone receiver. Would she call her back? Or would she even WANT to see her, to talk? This remained to be seen, but Kerry had to try. Kerry chose to leave that message on Sandy's voicemail, knowing she would check her messages throughout the day.
"Dr. Weaver... MVA just pulled up... we need you."
Kerry was pulled away from her thoughts, by Abby, who came stumbling into the lounge.
"Uh... what? OH... I'll be right there." Kerry said this without looking up from the phone, which her hand still occupied.
Abby tilted her head slightly, in that Abby fashion. "You okay, Dr. Weaver?"
Kerry looked up and met Abby's eyes. "No... but I will be. Thanks." Kerry finally took her hand from the phone and walked over to Abby. "Let's go."
"After you." Abby opened the door and let Kerry walk out first.
Kerry smiled at Abby, as they both headed outside.
Kerry stretched her back, like a feline stretching after a nap, as she followed Abby out of Trauma 1. She let out a sigh as she crutched forward.
"We did everything we could. He was a goner from the start." Kerry slightly squeezed Abby's shoulder. "Thanks for your help Abby. You did a good job."
"Thanks Dr. Weaver." Abby gave her a shy smile.
Susan took it upon herself to walk up at that very moment. "Abby can you give me a hand with Curtain 3?"
Abby momentarily looked to Kerry, who nodded to her. "Sure."
Susan started to walk away with Abby, but turned back to Kerry, who was about to walk away in the other direction. "OH... Dr. Weaver... there is someone here to see you. She's waiting at the desk." Susan gave her a smile, as she turned to leave again.
Kerry let her gaze wander from Susan over to the admit desk, where she found a pair of hazel/green eyes, staring back at her. "Sandy..."
Kerry slowly began to approach Sandy, who had her hands shoved in her pockets and was starting to walk towards her.
"Hi..." Is all Kerry could seem to greet her with.
"You wanted to see me, Dr. Weaver?" Sandy stared back into Kerry's eyes. Sandy wasn't smiling, yet she wasn't pissed. She was just trying to get down to business.
"Yeah... I was hoping we could talk." Kerry shifted on her feet. She was slightly uncomfortable. Not from Sandy being there, but from the distance that had now seeped between the two of them.
Sandy sighed and looked around her. "Where?"
"Will you come into the lounge with me, so we can sit down?"
Sandy allowed herself to make eye contact with Kerry, once again, before silently agreeing to Kerry's request.
They started their walk towards the lounge, walking side by side, neither of them saying a word. Kerry pushed the door open for Sandy, and placed her hand on her back as she walked in. As Kerry let the door shut behind her, Sandy quickly turned on her feet.
Kerry stopped right in front of her, a little more than a nose inch away.
They searched each other's eyes for a moment, as if looking for answers to what the other was thinking. Kerry reached for Sandy's right hand, grabbing on and tightly gripping her.
Sandy looked down at her hand, than she slowly pulled it away and replaced it back in the pocket of her pants, as her eyes met Kerry's once again.
Kerry defeated, said, "I guess I deserve that."
Sandy tried to cut to the chase. "What do you want, Dr. Weaver?"
"What I want... is for you to stop calling me Dr. Weaver." Kerry gave Sandy, a sly chief look.
Sandy rolled her eyes and turned around toward the window. "You're gonna keep playing these games, aren't ya?"
Kerry let out a heavy sigh.
Sandy turned back to Kerry, who was staring at the floor in front of her. "You asked me to come by. What do you want, Kerry?"
Kerry met Sandy's eyes, with her own. They spoke to her with an aggravated tone. "I wanted to..."
"Dr. Weaver... can I get your assistance?" Gallant had just pushed his way into the lounge. He looked from Kerry to Sandy, who had just rolled her eyes and folded her arms in front of her chest. "Oh... I'm sorry ma'am." He spoke to both Kerry and Sandy.
Kerry briefly closed her eyes than spun on her heels to look at Michael. "Gallant, can this wait?"
"Yes ma'am, it can. I'll find you later." Michael took it upon himself to show his way out of the lounge.
"You know... I don't think they want us to talk here, and I'm starting to think this was a bad idea coming here." Sandy let her arms unfold and fall to her sides as she tried to walk past Kerry to leave.
Kerry turned towards Sandy and grabbed her arm. "No... please wait... I need to talk to you. Please don't go."
Sandy blew out a big breath of air, and stopped. She looked at Kerry briefly before lightly grabbing Kerry's hand and prying it off her arm. "Bye Kerry."
Kerry took a step towards Sandy, as she was now at the door. "You know... you were right."
Sandy paused her movement, but didn't turn back around. She said nothing as she closed her eyes.
Kerry slowly turned around and walked towards the window. Her tears were now evident on her face. "You were right." She said, as she started to break down.
Sandy turned towards her and saw that her legs were giving out on her. She rushed over to her, and held her upright. "Come on... sit down." Sandy motioned to the couch by the window.
Kerry slumped into the couch and covered her face with her hands. Her tears were still flowing freely and she was starting to tremble.
Sandy kneeled down in front of Kerry and slipped her body in between her legs. She pulled Kerry's hands down from her face and slinked her arms around Kerry's waist, as she pulled her into an embrace.
Kerry buried her face in Sandy's chest, quickly soaking her shirt with her sobbing.
Sandy began to rock Kerry gently, as she tried to calm her. "Shhh... it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry." Sandy pulled back from Kerry and cupped her face with her hands. She wiped away her tears, with her thumbs, as they fell down her cheeks. "Why are you crying?"
Kerry's voice was barely a whisper. "You were right. I'm a coward." Kerry tried to pull back from Sandy's hands, but she wouldn't let her.
Sandy held her firmly. "I never said you were a coward." She gently stroked Kerry's cheeks with her hands. "Look at me, Kerry." Sandy tilted Kerry's chin up and Kerry allowed her eyes to meet Sandy's.
"I never called you a coward." Sandy looked deeply into Kerry's eyes. "I shouldn't have kissed you like that in front of everyone, but please know... that it wasn't intentional. I never meant to embarrass you like that. However, I didn't know what else to do... so I kissed you. I didn't want to say goodbye to you, but you know the way I am. You know how I live my life. I won't go back in my closet, Kerry. I won't and I can't... not even for you." Sandy kept her eye contact with Kerry.
Kerry's cheeks were still moist from her tears. She let out the breath she had been holding onto, as she began to search Sandy's eyes. What she found was compassion and worry. "Sandy... I don't want you to have to hide. You did do me a favor... I realize that now. I can't keep hiding from who I am. I can't. I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry if you felt betrayed or as if I had wasted your time." Kerry brought her right hand up to Sandy's face. "I... I can't do this alone. I need you."
An understanding smile played across Sandy's lips. "I'm still here Kerry. I know you can't do this alone and I don't want you to have to. No one should have to go through coming out alone. I'm just... will you try? For us, will you try?"
Kerry met Sandy's smile, with one of her own. "Yes I will... but I need your strength. I need your support. I can't guarantee you anything... and I don't know how fast or how well, I will be able to deal with this. I'm going to try though."
Kerry scooted in closer to Sandy. "Sandy... I lost one lover, to fear. I was a coward then, too. Kim left me. I forced her to. I wouldn't open up to her and I let her down, when she needed me the most. I didn't blame her for leaving. I loved her... and I wish I did things differently back then. I can't change things in the past, but I can change things for the future. You have made me happy, in the time that we have been together. I owe you my life, for saving mine. I need you. Will you give me another chance?" Kerry caressed Sandy's face one last time, before bringing her hand down, and resting it on Sandy's hip.
Sandy pulled Kerry's face to hers and passionately kissed her. In the kiss they found forgiveness, they found understanding, and they found hope.
Kerry moaned as Sandy kissed her deeper.
At that very moment the lounge door flew open and in stumbled Abby again. "Dr. Weaver I..." Abby paused at the sight of Kerry and Sandy. She was somewhat embarrassed for walking in on them.
Sandy and Kerry pulled away from each other, each looking over in Abby's direction.
"Yes Abby?" Kerry gave her a devilish smile.
"I um... I was going to... um... never mind." Abby quickly turned on her heels and practically jumped out of the lounge.
Sandy turned her head from the door back to Kerry, who was smiling.
They both laughed at the look on Abby's face.
"I think she was a little embarrassed."
"I think that would about sum it up." Sandy smiled as she looked down at her position in front of Kerry. "You know..." Sandy leaned into Kerry. Her lips hovering just over Kerry's left ear, as she whispered to Kerry in a husky tone. "If I walked in and saw someone like this, kneeling in between your legs... I might think they were about to do something, that wasn't appropriate to do in a hospital lounge... where just anyone could walk in." Sandy's hot breath teased Kerry's skin.
Kerry moaned as Sandy's tongue, lightly brushed her earlobe. "You know... you better stop."
Sandy smiled. "Why's that?" She said, as she took Kerry's earlobe into her mouth, and lightly suckled her. She produced another moan from Kerry, which was slightly louder this time. "Why Dr. Weaver... is that the sound of pleasure, I hear?" Sandy's lips found Kerry's neck.
Kerry moaned again, at her touch. "Yes it would... moan... be that." Her breathing was now rough, as she found herself aroused by Sandy's every touch. "I really...breath... need you... breath... to... breath... stop." Kerry pulled herself away from Sandy, who pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and devilishly looked on at her.
"You're all work and no play, Kerry. You're a big tease."
Kerry leaned in and gently kissed Sandy. "Can I see you tonight?"
Sandy brought her hand up to Kerry's cheek. "Yes... you can."
They both smiled at this, as Kerry rubbed Sandy's back. "Good... cause I expect you to finish what you just started."
Sandy lifted her right eyebrow as she let a grin play across her face. "I will... don't you worry about that."
They stared at each other for a brief moment, both grinning, with looks of arousal. It was Kerry who made the first move. She slowly started to push herself up from the couch.
Sandy backed away from her and stood up. They walked out of the lounge hand in hand, fully aware of all the eyes following them. Kerry walked Sandy out to her car.
Sandy opened the door, but turned to Kerry one last time before climbing in. "What time should I expect you, later?"
Kerry looked down at her watch. "I'm off in three hours."
"Okay. You want me to order something in?"
"Sure... whatever you want."
"Alright... I'll see you later." Sandy stepped over to Kerry and pulled her in for one last kiss. She kissed her slow and passionately, as she caressed her back.
Kerry pulled her into a hug, then let her go. She watched Sandy pull out. Her eyes didn't leave Sandy's car, until it was out of sight. "Weaver... you're in for big trouble, tonight." She smirked as she made her way back inside. She made a promise to herself, to try whatever it took, to make things work with Sandy. She wouldn't allow herself to make the same mistakes, a third time.
Thanks for reading.