S8x12: "A River In Egypt" – by Piney

Original Air Date: January 17, 2002

The emergency room is an emotionally spare place -- all glare and hum and people in need with compassion metered out as if it were precious and nearly spent. Those who work here, day and night, form an oasis in the center, barricaded behind the admission desk and workstations. Here Frank sits and growls as the first line of defense. He is the lowest member of the group tenuously bonded to survive the demands of those seated in the chairs and lying in the beds.

The day shift is in high gear, busy, efficient by design of their chief, Dr. Kerry Weaver who has a young intern in tow this morning.

“What’s the common etiology other than drug reaction?” Kerry asks the tall serious man known to all by his last name of Gallant, as they move from the exam room to the oasis.

“Viral infection.”

“Any one in particular?” Kerry asks as she reaches the desk and starts to organize her patient file.

“Doctor Weaver, Sandy Lopez called you back,” Frank announces loudly upon her arrival.

“Herpes?” Gallant says on the tail of Frank’s message.

“What?” Kerry hears them both and her expression shifts slightly as the effect of Frank’s message settles on her face.

“Herpes simplex infection.” “That girl firefighter,” Gallant and Frank say in concert.

“Right,” Kerry says distractedly to close the conversation with an air of preoccupation.

.....

“Sandy Lopez from the 38?” Chuny asks in the same public voice as Frank, only more in conversation and less like one is sitting on tacks.

“The hot one?” Malik joins in with interest.

“The GAY one?” Chuny counters.

“Get outta here!” Malik says unbelievingly.

Dr. Weaver listens with feigned indifference as the staff discusses the woman she secretly loves and longs for. She sifts the words spoken by the staff to discover the prevailing attitude. Tolerance? Acceptance? Ridicule? Disapproval? Judgment?

“My cousin Rico used to have a huge crush on her in high school, Chuny continues, “She wouldn’t even give him the time of day.”

“I’ve seen your cousin Rico,” Malik laughed, “I don’t blame her!”

Kerry moves to the far side of the desk to intercept Abby who has just arrived still in her coat and hat. “Abby, 50 of Benadryl in Exam One and cover the lesions with one percent hydrocortisone.”

“I just got here.”

“Clock-in and get busy.” She hands Abby a clipboard and adjusts a file in front of her.

“She said she would stop by before her shift to see you.” Frank has moved to stand between Kerry and Chuny, seemingly unhappy with the tack situation at his chair.

“What?” Kerry looks around quickly at Frank, impatient with the persistent message.

“LOPEZ” Frank finishes and returns to his desk.

.....

“You guys friends?” Chuny slides over to Kerry and asks her question with friendly interest where professional reserve once ruled.

“I treated a guy in her unit last night, 15-ft fall, femur fracture, blunt head trauma.” Weaver responds flatly without acknowledging the forwardness or implication of the question. She looks for an escape.

“Gallant! Let’s get a good neuro exam on Mrs. Barisch.” She grabs a clipboard file and moves off to safer ground with the young intern again in tow.

.....

Kerry and Gallant exit an exam room discussing the patient’s care.

“How about a head CT?” Gallant asks his respected chief and new mentor.

“It’s not necessary,” Kerry says, walking purposely. She stops to pick up a phone.

“Well, she never had headaches before. What if it is a subarachnoid bleed?

“That presents as sudden onset of severe pain. She’s got a mild chronic pain.” Kerry punches the number she knows by heart.

“Well, she could have hydrocephalus. I think a CT is a good idea.” Gallant gets points for confidence and persistence.

“I think an outpatient workup should be fine,” Kerry says, sending a clear signal to Gallant that he is dismissed; just busy of course, not that it could be a personal call.

“Okay”

Gallant leaves and Kerry listens with the receiver to one ear and her finger closing the other against the noise of the hallway.

The answering machine sends a long beep. Kerry delivers her message slowly in a voice just loud enough and no more.

“Hi, it’s Kerry. I heard you were going to come by before your shift but...” Kerry sees Chen and Romano down the hall. They spot her and lurk ominously. “…I’m a little backed up here so let me call you later.” She hesitates -- wishing she could say more. “Thanks. Bye.”

Kerry holds herself a moment before moving off. It is the second time today she has taken in information that made her feel vulnerable. Not feeling strong today…Not on her game today…Getting through, holding on, getting by…

.....

Kerry and Susan move quickly in the trauma room treating a convict who had overturned his gurney hoping to kill himself.

“Bag him Susan.”

“Kerry?” Susan says, in rebellion.

“Get a head CT and call neurosurgery.”

“Kerry, the guy’s going to die in a couple of months by lethal injection.”

“Bag him now!” Kerry orders.

“He asked for no heroic measures,” Susan persists.

“He is a death row inmate attempting suicide; he can’t ask for a DNR.”

Kerry looks up at the trauma room door, sees Sandy standing looking in at her and a discernable glow comes over her face. Sandy is wearing the black jacket and scarf that is part of her hero’s uniform and a look of confidence edged with gentleness. Her wave of acknowledgment chases up butterflies in Kerry’s stomach.

“Tube him now!” Kerry gives her final order, ending all discussion and moves to the door.

“Whatever you say Kerry,” Susan mutters, defeated.

Kerry greets Sandy in the hallway with a softness belying the sudden shift of the earth on its axis as the two women come face to face.

“Hey.”

“I got your message.” Sandy is warm and receptive; hoping the call means Kerry had an announcement—a change of heart—an epiphany that would end their separation.

“Yeah, we've been backed up all day,” Kerry hedges as only she can.

“You told me to come by,” says Sandy, still hopeful.

“Actually, I left another message on your machine that I would get back to you later.” Sandy rolls her head at her conflicted lover. How much patience and how much prodding? When to say enough?

“Well I am here,” Sandy says impatiently, “Okay? I came to see Marty from the 38. So what do you want to say?” The warmth is turning to frustration.

.....

Malik intercepts Kerry as they walk down the hall toward the admissions desk.

“Dr. Weaver, Dr. Chen is looking for you.”

“Yeah, tell her to wait.” Kerry shifts easily from personal to professional and back again.

“I just wanted to make sure you are all right.” Kerry justifies her call to see Sandy. “I heard it was a pretty big fire?”

“I’m fine.” Sandy can’t hold her irritation in the face of Kerry’s concern.

“Good, good.” Meaning, ‘I am so glad because I can’t live without you’ but it is lost in Weaverese.

.....

Abby approaches from behind to get a quick answer to a question. “Dr. Weaver, can you sign an order for a social services consult? They won’t come down here without a signature.”

“Not now,” Kerry says quickly. She is beginning to be frustrated at the interruptions but even more at her own failing and how it affects Sandy.

“Well, it’s Joyce Westlake…”

Sandy blows out a tense breath and rubs her neck. Kerry scratches her neck and crosses to the door of the lounge.

“…the ankle. There is domestic violence involved, so I….” Kerry cuts her off.

“Yeah, I’ll come down and talk with her.” Sandy watches Kerry talk with Abby and tries to hold Kerry’s eyes with her own.

“So that’s it?” Sandy gestures raising both arms out to the side in the ‘what?’ position, emphasizing her disbelief and frustration with Kerry’s ability to avoid the issue between them.

“What?” Kerry says, wanting Sandy to lead them from their swirling eddy.

“You’re gonna keep playing this game,” Sandy says, calling Kerry on her pretense. She places her hands on her hips and smiles ironically.

Kerry’s voice cracks with emotion and she steps toward Sandy only to step back again remembering where she is. Her face is showing all the emotion she wants Sandy to interpret as caring.

“I’m not playing any game.” Kerry sighs heavily though poorly hidden tears.

“So what? You just want to check on me?” Sandy’s compassion is evident but disciplined. Kerry must see the futility in the kind of relationship she is suggesting.

“Is that all right?”

.....

Abby arrives again at Kerry’s side with her urgent request. “Could you just write the order and I’ll take care of it?”

“No, Abby, I’m the treating physician, OK?” Kerry is visibly upset and causes Abby to look down and move for the nearest exit. Sandy throws a big sigh.

“I’m sorry.” Kerry hangs her head, no longer able to control her emotion.

“It’s all right,” Sandy says patiently. She tries again to get Kerry to face the issue. “Why are you avoiding?”

“I’m…I’m not …look...hey can’t you tell I’m just a little swamped?” Kerry says defensively, swallowing the last word, as if Sandy would accept that argument.

.....

Chen swaggers in to exploit her new position and lays out her demands to Kerry. “Kerry, excuse me. You want to talk to me, talk to me Okay? I’m not going to be hanging around for your convenience.” Sandy rolls her head at Chen’s incredible demeanor, and looses her patience with the entire situation and Kerry’s persistent denial. She waves off the anxiety and starts toward the doors to the ambulance bay with a final response.

“You know, forget it.”

“Come on,” Kerry pleads, suddenly aware she has pushed Sandy’s limit.

“Forget it.” Sandy repeats still walking to the door.

“Please wait!” Kerry chases after Sandy, leaving Chen unanswered and unvalued.

“No. Goodbye.”

“Let me just check on…Sandy...”

“You know...” Sandy turns on her heel to catch Kerry by the face with both hands. She kisses her hard and full, then softer but still firmly, caressing Kerry’s still damp cheeks. Kerry easily accepts the kiss, as her heart is aching and fearful of losing this beautiful woman. Love flows and consequences will follow, but for now Kerry reaches up to caresses Sandy’s cheek with her fingers, her hand coming to rest on Sandy’s soft wrist as the moment matures and the intimate union comes to a close. Sandy’s full lips release Kerry’s mouth reluctantly. She looks to capture Kerry’s eyes and continues to caress her face, as Kerry’s head becomes heavy in her hands. Kerry’s eyes remain downcast as Sandy’s fingertips trail off the line of her chin as she steps away, taking Kerry’s heart and secret with her.

“Goodbye Dr. Weaver.” Kerry hears the disembodied voice as she recovers from the shock and exposure.

.....

Malik and Abby had been watching what passes for spectacle in the ER and continue to stare as Kerry collects her difficult composure. Chen tries to share a smile with Abby confirming Kerry’s embarrassment, but Abby looks away. Kerry defiantly wipes the betraying wetness from her face and returns to work.

.....

Mark hands the hallway phone to Abby. “When a kid named Ricky gets on the phone transfer him to Trauma One.”

“Who?” Abby asks as she takes the receiver.

“A choir boy. He is going to hold up the phone from the church vestibule.” Mark says as he moves off.

“Did you see it?” A passing nurse asks as she reaches for supplies from a cart.

“What? Says Abby with the phone pressed up to her ear.

“”Neither did I, but I heard it was steamy!” She rolls her eyes for emphasis on the word ‘steamy’ and moves off with an expressionless Abby looking after her.

.....

Malik and Yoshie stand at the desk talking as in confidence as Dr. Weaver approaches.

“A kiss could mean anything,” Yoshie surmises.

“Not THAT kind of kiss,” Malik states adamantly.

They scatter as Dr. Weaver reaches them.

.....

Kerry is at a workstation with Malik working nearby. She feels his eyes watching her.

“What do you need, Malik?” She asks pointedly.

“Nothing.”

“Yeah. Well, then why don’t you find something to do?” Kerry says, rejecting his rude curiosity. He gathers up a large pile of files and hurries off.

.....

SQUAK… SQUAK… The fire bell is sounding and fire fighters are scrambling as Kerry rushes to confront Sandy. She finds her grabbing gear and dressing just a few feet from the waiting engine.

.....

“Who are you?” Kerry bellows as Sandy reaches for her neck buff.

“We've got a call Kerry.” Sandy states the obvious evenly.

“I mean who the hell are you?” Kerry yells again while Sandy pulls her buff over her thick brown braid and spins it into place.

“I live my life without apology” responds Sandy, moving quickly to the point of the argument.

“Yeah, that’s right, YOUR life. You make choices for YOUR life. You don’t make choices for mine.” Kerry directs an accusing finger while she repeats the words so well rehearsed on the drive to the stationhouse.

“I didn’t CHOOSE to be lied to or have my time wasted.” Sandy replies, now equaling Kerry’s combative tone as she adjusts her heavy coat.

“I never misrepresented myself.” Kerry argues back with the tone rising at the end in indignation.

“No, you just pretended to be something you’re not.”

“Lopez, Let’s go!” The captain calls.

Kerry shakes off Sandy’s incomprehensible statement and returns to script. “You know what. That’s MY employees, MY colleagues, MY workplace. I choose to keep my private life to myself.”

Sandy starts for the truck and turns to face Kerry. “You can’t separate who you are from what you do Kerry.”

“That is not your decision to make!” Kerry argues as if it is an abstract point. Sandy makes it plain for Kerry’s understanding. Her strong gestures and the conviction in her deep brown eyes, gives Kerry the bottom line.

“You want the life without the hardship. You don’t get one without the other, not with me anyway”. Sandy climbs easily into the truck and slams the door. Kerry is still yelling over the din of the firehouse trying to get an answer through the open window of the rumbling truck.

“SO YOU DID THIS OUT OF SPITE TO TEACH ME SOME KIND OF LESSON?” She listens for the answer. Sandy leans out of the window to deliver what she knows to be true regardless of how Kerry may be hurt.

“I DID YOU A HUGE FAVOR. YOU JUST DON’T KNOW IT YET!”

Kerry absorbs the words as she has little fight left. She walks out onto the sidewalk behind the racing engine and watches it turn the corner out of sight…

 

Episode Summaries

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